Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places
As we all navigate into the new year, along with the resolutions that we’ve promised ourselves, most adults are putting their energy behind a healthier lifestyle, improving interpersonal relationships, visiting dream vacation destinations, etc. One popular goal, particularly amongst our senior and sometimes lonelier segment of the population is the idea of finding a partner or soulmate and possibly falling in love again. In some instances, for the very first time. As the population continues to age with some loved ones lost to ill health, pandemic and old age, many adults are looking for ways to rekindle a feeling of togetherness and partnership.
In a post pandemic world, with communicable illness still troublesome, and the bar/nightclub scene still a bit risky for some, many adults, young and old, have turned to online dating platforms for easy access to social contact. While online dating has been around for several years, this not so new social platform does come with some risks
Case in point. On a recent Friday evening a senior investigator at Integrated Security Services received an email from a business acquaintance concerned about his single mother and an on-line relationship she developed very rapidly over a short period of a few weeks. By coincidence earlier that same day, this investigator received a similar inquiry that came in via our company web portal. Both stories were uniquely similar. The business acquaintance, Louis, provided a name, phone number and date of birth for the on-line dater who we will refer to as John Dater, and asked that we conduct a background investigation. Our investigator advised Louis to tell his mother to cease all communication which is not always an easy recommendation to convey when individuals are captivated by their on-line paramour. Further, our investigator went on to explain to Louis that although he had gathered significant pedigree data for John Dater, the information could likely be bogus, and sure enough, it was. Additionally, our web client similarly had the individual’s name, phone number and date of birth, all sadly turned out to be fake. In both instances, the online conversations between parties advanced to scheduling a meet and greet. As you read on, this is where the plot thickens. Luckily for Louis’s mother and our new client, all meetings were abruptly curtailed, and these women were spared a potentially devastating emotional and financial grift.
This online dating scam was recently captured is in a CNN article called A fake Romeo charmed more than 100 women with promises of romance, then scammed them-now he’s going to prison by CNN reporter Faith Karimi dated December 12, 2022. In this instance, the FBI and federal prosecutors in New Jersey were able to identify the perpetrator of a massive grift targeting vulnerable, lonely, older women. Law enforcement officers attest that this scam, which had been successful for decades, was discovered due to laziness and the use of traceable phone numbers used by the perpetrator. The grifter began his online relationship by developing a rapport with each woman, then crafting a hard luck story leading up to a request for money. What law enforcement officials discovered during their investigation were copious bios kept by the grifter for each victim. Victims were selected based on their age, vulnerability, specific social status (widowed, divorced, w/children) and assets owned.
So, what should online daters look for? Each initial online inquiry begins like any other courtship. Conversations typically begin with benign banter in search of commonalities. Once a comfortable dialogue has been established the grifter begins with an intimate exchange of photos of his/or her fictitious children usually set in an amusement park restaurant or like public space. The purpose of this exchange is to establish a familial connection of stability and responsibility. The grifter places his former life and family well outside the victims’ geographic area to control any possibility of direct access. Arrangements are then made by both parties to meet up, at which point the grifter is confident he has hooked the subject and established a suitable level of comfort. Usually, within 24 to 48 hours before the phony rendezvous the scammer will advance the grift with a fictitious story claiming that he/or she needed to travel overseas on business and was either in an accident or became a victim of a crime and is in dire need of money without access to their own. The amounts requested begin small so not to arouse suspicion, but as the grifter advances his scheme additional funds are requested as do the amounts. Sadly, current digital currency transfer systems like Venmo and Zelle, make it easier and faster for the grifter to receive money which is often the desired exchange method requested.
Don’t believe that only naive people fall victim to these scams. Our business acquaintance’s mother was a bright woman and retired doctor. According to Ms. Kathy Waters, Executive Director of Advocating Against Romance Scammers, the targeted women are usually widows, women with physical disabilities and single mothers, including one mother who had recently lost a child. If you become aware of a family member, friend or colleague who has recently been boasting about an online romance, Integrated Security Services recommends that you suggest to that individual some of the information discussed here and by others regarding this matter. It is important to note that potential victims of these crimes are highly emotional and unwilling to accept that they have been deceived. Often recommending a discrete investigative resource, like Integrated Security Services that you or the potential victim can contact for professional advice is likely to be the most effective way to mitigate a messy emotional and financial crisis.
Our investigative team offers private 30 minute consultations with a seasoned private investigator to help with all your online dating concerns. All consultations will remain discrete and confidential regardless whether we are retained. Integrated Security Services is available 24/7 at info@intesecurity.com or call us toll free at (888) 809-9119.
